Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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