his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
