and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize