I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
