Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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