i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
organizing the empties. That sober.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
