I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Where did you get a picture of my penis
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
