he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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