The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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