i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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