saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Randomize