it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
