I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Randomize