She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
