Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
This toilet bowl is my home.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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