I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Randomize
