I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
