you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Randomize
