Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
