All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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