His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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