Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
