Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Randomize