Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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