now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize