i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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