I seem to have left my pride at pride
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
