How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
