you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
We have so much sex to catch up on
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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