would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
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