So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
worst night to have a conscience
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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