That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
