i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Randomize
