i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
