she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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