After last night, I could never be a politician.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
