i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
