Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize