Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
