Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
