It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
