i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
