She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
