The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
