There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
