I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
