my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
