I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
