I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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