How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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