just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize