Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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