i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
