I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
