I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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