and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
