so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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