So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Randomize
