beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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