Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
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"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
