i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
i think i just lost a toe
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
