My first STD was from a foam party
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
