He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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