he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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