Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Randomize
